When we were kids, it was pretty simple to make friends.
As an adult, it can be more complicated: we already have established friendships, life is busier and we may have more baggage. We naturally gravitate towards people who have similar demographics, interests and values.It’s just easier to spend time with people who just “get” us, rather than having to labour through explaining in-jokes, cultural references or why we feel the way we do.
It reminds me of a Jerry Seinfeld joke where he is talking about making friends as an adult:
When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. You're not interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food. They don't know the activities. If I meet a guy in a club or the gym or someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of potential, but we're just not hiring right now.
Of course when you're a kid, you can be friends with anybody. Remember when you were a little kid what were the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's my friend, they're my friend. That's it. Are you a grown up? No. Great! Come on in. Jump up and down on my bed. And if you have anything in common at all, “You like Cherry Soda? I like Cherry Soda! We'll be best friends!”
We spend more time at work with our colleagues than we do with our friends and our family so it is understandable that a fringe benefit can occur with friendships developing in the work setting.
When recruiting new hires, it can be tempting to get the order wrong. You are recruiting the best cultural and skill fit for a role, not to get a friend!
It’s easy to recruit someone who has the same background and share the same interests, as you will more easily create a connection with them in the interview process. Who doesn’t want to spend 8+ hours with someone who is easy to talk to?
We would all agree that the purpose of recruitment is to employ the best person for the job, on both a cultural and skill level. Having diversity of thought in the workplace is essential to provide dynamic points of view and fresh perspectives on issues and solutions. A friend, who by the very nature of their friendships will normally share your outlook, won’t easily come to that insight.
As Hannah Gadsby in Nanette says, "Diversity is a strength." Diverse points of view and thought patterns originate not only from different genders, cultures and ages but from the range of experiences, personalities and mind sets that each individual brings to the group. Diversity in your team will encourage solutions to your company’s problems to be analysed and tested in ways that would never be considered with a homogenous team.
Tell me, who doesn’t want the best solution for their company?
Oh and one last piece of advice: lay off the Cherry Soda. It’ll rot your teeth.